For better and for worse...

Now seriously,
We all have some kind of history. Maybe I've been ignorantly lucky in never having thought of mine. I've always thought of myself as living in some kind of hermitude. And every once in a while some kind soul would stop into my life and show me that Karma has some gratitude for my struggle to be a good man. Never had to concern myself with anyone else, though I always thought I wanted to. I guess I'm realizing some nasty facts about myself lately. So like I said for better or for worse I've have a lot of my past coming back into view. Nasty facts, I'm self centered. I'm vain. And worse than vain I'm shallow. I fear commitment. I'm addicted to cigarettes, food and the sound of my own voice. I let other people into my life, with only the hope that they will improve my life. Somehow make me happy or at the very least tell me things I want to hear. I've had women who loved me, that I couldn't commit to. That I wouldn't sacrifice my own self comforts for. I've been with women that didn't love me, that I might have given anything for, just because I wanted to feel worthy of their affections. Now why in the hell do I want to share all of this with any of you? Because I know that so many of my closest friends know all this about me. They know all these things that I've said here this morning. Most likely some of them know these faults in my character better than I do. As they have watched me "suffer" the consequences of my choices, time and again. But still they love me, and that's why I hold you all in such high regard. We all have faults, and it's in finding where the good out weighs the bad that we can appreciate people for who they are. And love each other faults and all...
For better and for worse,
Brad O'Brien