Brad O'Brien Prefers the Company of Women Exclusively
From what I understand, this may come as a shock to many of my old "friends" in Rhode Island... (quotes VERY intentional)
WHAT THE FUCK! One guy comes out to me, I respectfully decline his offer and keep his secret in confidence. Maybe I should have grabbed all your fucking girlfriends asses or something.. But for some reason when this dude goes telling everyone that I'M GAY, everyone jumps on the GOD DAM BANDWAGON LIKE "OH YEAH I KNEW THAT ALL ALONG...."
Guess what, not true, ask around with some of the people that actually knew me, maybe they would tell you about the truth of it. I have high standards (most say too high) and maybe becasue you didn't see me come on to every drunk bitch in every dirty nighclub I've played in that does not make me a homosexual.
I am very uncomfortable that not only is my sexuality a topic of conversation, but that so many people that I thought knew me pretty well would be so ready to assume that I was in fact gay.
So for those "Friends" who believed this bullshit without thinking about asking me whether or not it were true, thanks for being true to me, spreading rumours and believing a lie.
Heterosexually yours,
Brad
"Not that there's anything wrong with that.... "
WHAT THE FUCK! One guy comes out to me, I respectfully decline his offer and keep his secret in confidence. Maybe I should have grabbed all your fucking girlfriends asses or something.. But for some reason when this dude goes telling everyone that I'M GAY, everyone jumps on the GOD DAM BANDWAGON LIKE "OH YEAH I KNEW THAT ALL ALONG...."
Guess what, not true, ask around with some of the people that actually knew me, maybe they would tell you about the truth of it. I have high standards (most say too high) and maybe becasue you didn't see me come on to every drunk bitch in every dirty nighclub I've played in that does not make me a homosexual.
I am very uncomfortable that not only is my sexuality a topic of conversation, but that so many people that I thought knew me pretty well would be so ready to assume that I was in fact gay.
So for those "Friends" who believed this bullshit without thinking about asking me whether or not it were true, thanks for being true to me, spreading rumours and believing a lie.
Heterosexually yours,
Brad
"Not that there's anything wrong with that.... "
posted by Brad O'Brien at 12:51 PM
1 Comments:
Hi ALL! I am shocked and down-right appalled by reading this entry! This is certainly news to me. And if it were true (which I know it is NOT), it would have been a well kept secret. I can't stand people that feel the need to spread nasty rumors, and that is exactly what these were, untruths of an unneccessary nature(not that a chosen lifestyle of such is wrong)...ok, now I must be upset by this because that is the only time I would allow myself to use such a long, run-on sentence like this---STOP.
I had to stop myself before I sunk to levels that are unbecoming. OK, back to my point...I've known Brad for quite a few years and have never even thought of this being a possibility. I know, first hand, that this is not the case. From the very hand of the victim of this terrible lie came the truth to me. Brad and I have a very special relationship. It has grown from barely knowing one another through mutual work acquantices into something that couldn't be expressed by any combination of words at this time. In the past, I have tried to articualte how I feel to him, and still, to this day, have not been able to find the exact words or phrases to express myself to him. To even come close to defining how I feel when we interact with each other is near impossible. I hope that I've come closer to achieving that goal in writing this response.
Now, I would like to think of myself as an attractive woman and I've certainly had my share of good and bad relationships. Come to think of it, my relationship with Brad is the only one I can think of that never ended. Bad or Good. And, if I may add, I hope it never does. Today, I read a lot more of his blog entries than I ever have and some of it was expected. You don't know somebody like I know Brad and not expect some of the things that he spews into his blog. I experience a lot of the same questions and doubts as he does and also someday hope to find true love. Or at least a friendship that can be developed into something I can work with for God's sake.
Although I have always respected and admired this man, it is sad to think that what we have can never be more than what it is. Sometimes I wish it were more than just a common interest. I know it is essentially more than 'common' , but for the sake of argument, let's call it that. It is hard for me to admit this to him and myself, even though he probably knows already; He's pretty SMAHT like that. I am a strong believer in 'everything happens for a reason' and 'timing is everything' and I know that I am a better person and lover because of our special bond. However, I am just as lonely even when I happen to be in a 'normal' relationship with someone else. No matter who I date, there is always something missing, deep inside, that only one person can provide me with. That void, which feels like it grows more vast with each day, only makes me feel more empty when I think about it. Then, I question what my true purpose in life is. When I am with Brad, I feel like I am loved and most of all, wanted and appreciated. I can sense the fact that he really does cherish and adore me. I would be very surprised if I were sadly mistaken in thinking this.
I hope that my comments here are interpretted in the way I intended them to be. Sometimes I am just as insecure about how others perceive me and what they may think. God forbid I do what I do for me and not for anyone else's benefit. I am a Cancer sign and that means I have a naturally serving personality, but at what point do I start thinking of myself first? Not second, third or even last? I know that in the past few years I have grown as a person and becaome more aware of this. I also try like hell to work on it. It seems to be alright for the moment, but I can't help but think that there may be a relapse, so to speak, in the near future.
Well, ok then. This is turning into my own blog which I swore I never had time for. That goes right up there with myspace and any other site I've been invited to by numerous friends saying 'you HAVE to go there', none of which I have enough time to invest in to feel productive. I would never be able to go in on a daily basis and download endless snapshots and drawings or rewrite my poems and short stories. It would just be yet another project that would go unfinished and whenever I thought of it I'd feel unaccomplished.
Alright already, this has gone on long enough. I hope I made my point or at least came close to it. I will now step away from this computer I am enslaved to and go out into the world with anticipation of making someone else smile. Let your smile be your umbrella, blah, blah, blah....laugh and the whole world laughs with you and such. I think I got those right, but once again, I doubt myself.
missing my dear friend who moved so far away......(as I think of some catchy sign off phrase that best suits me, but this will have to do)......for now
Stizzy
Post a Comment
<< Home