It's Friday night and I ain't got nobody...
I got some money because I just got paid....
Of course as per usual I don't have anything to do, or more to the point care to do anything... I thought I was going to have to go into work but guess not. Wahoo! Of course I'm sure I could have used the money but hey, who can put a price on my time right? Oh yeah I do, by agreeing that I will show up and fulfill my duties for an agreed upon wage, which thank the gods was just increased, I hadn't seen a raise (other that for my promotion) in almost two years... Hmmm been talking to Ang alot, she is doing well despite just getting over a nasty bug. And I've been chilling with Stacie a bit too. Chell's and cheese called last night but I didn't get to it.
Now here's one of those things, ahhh never mind, I guess Ang was right it is tough to really consider this a journal especially since I send everyone the link to it. I can't feel comfortable talking about everything or everyone, because I think in the back of my head they might read it... Though I have very little belief that anyone is wasting time checking out what I have to say or think on a regular basis (haha Mike) my only regular commenter, his blog is linked to mine on the right side of this page Maybe I'll get over it and say what I'm really thinking feeling at some point. I don't believe that I would offend anyone, I have nothing but love for those wonderful women who have shared time with me. Usually I'm beating myself up, thinking that somehow it's all my fault it didn't work out. And worse yet that somehow that makes me a/the bad guy. But that's not really how it works out usually. Partly because I'm not a bad guy. (anyone care to argue?) and mostly because I know that relationships rarely work for anyone, despite how hard they try....
I don't mind being alone, I just hate feeling lonely. I guess that's why I take breakups so hard. For a brief time I forget that I was ever alone, and just live in that moment as hard as I can. I'm such a sucker, I have a hard time falling asleep when I'm sharing my bed with someone, I could write a song about why, but wait aerosmith already did that... Anyway, when the moments over, I feel like I'll be alone again forever. Though the last few years have proven me wrong. I had a funny realization the other day, in the last five years I've dated more women than in the twenty four years prior! And yes that statistic holds true to the other good things as well.
So I should be smiling, because in the grand view, I'm doing better than ever....
Except for tonight, bored, lonely and strangely enjoying my misery.
Brad
Of course as per usual I don't have anything to do, or more to the point care to do anything... I thought I was going to have to go into work but guess not. Wahoo! Of course I'm sure I could have used the money but hey, who can put a price on my time right? Oh yeah I do, by agreeing that I will show up and fulfill my duties for an agreed upon wage, which thank the gods was just increased, I hadn't seen a raise (other that for my promotion) in almost two years... Hmmm been talking to Ang alot, she is doing well despite just getting over a nasty bug. And I've been chilling with Stacie a bit too. Chell's and cheese called last night but I didn't get to it.
Now here's one of those things, ahhh never mind, I guess Ang was right it is tough to really consider this a journal especially since I send everyone the link to it. I can't feel comfortable talking about everything or everyone, because I think in the back of my head they might read it... Though I have very little belief that anyone is wasting time checking out what I have to say or think on a regular basis (haha Mike) my only regular commenter, his blog is linked to mine on the right side of this page Maybe I'll get over it and say what I'm really thinking feeling at some point. I don't believe that I would offend anyone, I have nothing but love for those wonderful women who have shared time with me. Usually I'm beating myself up, thinking that somehow it's all my fault it didn't work out. And worse yet that somehow that makes me a/the bad guy. But that's not really how it works out usually. Partly because I'm not a bad guy. (anyone care to argue?) and mostly because I know that relationships rarely work for anyone, despite how hard they try....
I don't mind being alone, I just hate feeling lonely. I guess that's why I take breakups so hard. For a brief time I forget that I was ever alone, and just live in that moment as hard as I can. I'm such a sucker, I have a hard time falling asleep when I'm sharing my bed with someone, I could write a song about why, but wait aerosmith already did that... Anyway, when the moments over, I feel like I'll be alone again forever. Though the last few years have proven me wrong. I had a funny realization the other day, in the last five years I've dated more women than in the twenty four years prior! And yes that statistic holds true to the other good things as well.
So I should be smiling, because in the grand view, I'm doing better than ever....
Except for tonight, bored, lonely and strangely enjoying my misery.
Brad
posted by Brad O'Brien at 2:52 PM
1 Comments:
man, just speak. thats what you are doin right now. but I ain't one to talk. ok, check this..you wonder who is gonna read it and you don't want to offend, well, I don't even tell anyone about my blog spot and i don't use names. for issues I will save for a future post....
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