Too Much

To do, to want, to need. Lets make a list shall we. Food, Shelter, Companionship. Now lets get a bit more in depth. Eating at a nice restaurant every so often, heat hot water and electricity in a good sized apartment in a good neighborhood. An attractive woman (or man in whatever your instance) who understands and appreciates you. Now lets try this one more time. Groceries in the fridge, a decent stove, fridge, microwave. A set of nice plates and silverware and maybe a matching dining room set. A house maybe with a deck, a yard with large rooms and ah shit I don't feel like going on with this. I really think the beatles had it down, all you need is love. Love can make Salisbury steak taste like a fillet mignon. Love can make a shack feel like a castle. And love can make a a companion the center of the world. So what do you do without love? Go hungry cold and desperate. All probably with a smile on your face. Buy TV's and DVD's and the million other small pleasures that food and drink can provide. Placate yourself with hobbies and interests until you think you have forgotten what it is you truly need. And you wake up on a Sunday morning and realize that's the dog sleeping beside you. And you have to spend the rest of another day trying to forget what the first thing you realized when you woke up.
All you need is love....

ho hum

what the hell am I still doing awake @ 3am? p.s. don't trust the little post clock, I have it set like I'm on easter island or something...

looking for love in all the wrong places...

"I'm not even supposed to be here today"

Yay, Kevin Smith knew my pain....
Its 8:30 am, I’ve already been at work over an hour and I wasn’t even supposed to get here until ten o’clock. Some one called out sick and I got the call to come in. No prob except you asked me to give my key to some one else last week. Great I’m driving all through the ghetto this morning at 7am trying to find this guys house… Get the key, get to the store. People lining up outside!!! Get everyone settled… rub my eyes… lose a contact.
I’m alone and half blind in a place where every one wants to hurt me :(
Hopefully the afternoon starts looking up.
Brad

Life in the Fast Lane, Sure to make you lose your Mind

Sorry I was in such a damm hurry this morning! I don't know that I care to continue the line of reasoning that I started this morning though... I will say congratulations to my friend on asking his wonderful fiance to marry him. Don't know what took you guys so dam long in the first place :) But better late than never. (or "better nate than lever" if you know what I mean... If not google it ;)

I'm lost in an ocean of my own desires folks. Know what I mean?
I know I've said this before, and that I'm just rehashing old philosophy at this point but all suffering does stem from desire. I look at my buddahs and wonder how much easier it must have been to be able to just walk away from life and do nothing!

No, now truly.... The basis of non action is not leaving things undone but doing only what needs to be done because if it needs to be done than it really isn't considered an action. It just is what it is and is not to be considered at all.

A great lesson in the Zen mindset came from one of my best friends Christopher. Going back a few years, I was living in a ramshackle apartment where the sink leaked water constantly onto my kitchen floor. So I would have to mop it up every few hours, soak it up with towels whatever I could do. I tried to fix the sink myself to no avail, I asked my landlord repeatedly to fix the sink to no avail. Finally after about a month I was so frustrated I just let the water sit there....

It's not my building, why do I care? If the landlord doesn't care why should I? I'm so dam sick of mopping up this water!!!!!!!

And Chris, noticing the pool developing in my kitchen, asked me about it... He got the whole anger intensified version. And he replied "you just have to keep mopping the floor man".
Brilliant.
Now if you missed it, let me clarify. The puddle on the kitchen floor has to be mopped. No one else is going to do it for me. And if I don't keep up with the little puddles the whole floor will fall in!
(Taoist wisdom of tackling challenges while they are small instead of letting them grow to become unmanageable) And if the floor needs to be mopped everyday than just do it and don't waste any more thoughts or energy fighting against the fact and, damm nike, just do it. In the time it takes to contemplate an action the action is complete. No thought, no action, reaction.

Now that being said, I can't just wander off in to the woods and say "This is where I will live from now on!" not because I couldn't construct shelter or find food. But because someone else owns the land and even if no one owned the land the county, city, state or federal government does and someone is going to want to tax you on your pup tent dammit. So I go to work and try to remember the assholes I deal with everyday are fallible spiritual creatures trying to find their way in this life. And that maybe they just seem like assholes because I have so much that I need to work out in my own karma.

Hello and welcome to Tangents are us can I take you some where?
B

Summer lovin, happened so fast....

Ever jumped too fast?
Into a relationship that is. I was asked this question a few months ago from a beautiful young woman I had dated briefly at the beginning of the summer. I don't know if I ever answered her, or if I did answer I don't know if it was honestly... Yeah I've jumped too fast, every time I start a new relationship I jump too fast. That's where the romance comes from. Giving it all and hoping for the best. True when it doesn't work out it sucks but then again how often does it work out? Well I guess it's a fifty-fifty shot, no matter how many relationships you may go through that never seem to work out. That doesn't make your "odds" less. There's always the chance that the next one will be "The One". So when I say a 50/50 chance of working out, it either will or it won't. It's really that simple. Now do I/you/we have to be happy about it? Hell no. Can we lay blame on the other uninterested party? Maybe.. But probably not. They are just as human and fallible as the rest of us... Ok I have to run but remember sometimes it works out! A good friend of mine told me last night that he "popped the question" this weekend, to his high school sweetheart.
Crap gotta run Brad!

Good morning freaks and geeks...

The traveling sideshow has arrived at your town,

for one night only!
"The terribly normal boy is real"

The show man's explanations roll across the crowd.

"poke a stick through the cage and see him squeal!"

Howdy all! Greetings, and blessings to you all. The terribly normal boy here again for another installment of news that isn't really newsworthy to anyone besides me. Yes I guess I am a narcsisitic bastard. (for Jon) Not too bad of a weekend considering the weather. Let see last time I wrote something not miserable and of note seems like almost a week ago, so lets recap what we have missed.

WED:
Austin has now won the first two rounds of the guitar center drum competition. It's nice to see his talents recognized. Celebrated with drink from a beauty named Rosemary, and free pizza courtesy of a local college radio station.

THURS:
work---home---bathrobe---sleep.... (Sloth award for the week)

FRI:
Up early to train and roll at the Matt Santo's fighting academy. My instructor trains and teaches there as well. It was my first chance to use what I've been learning with/against someone other than my instructor. I did really well. Hurts like hell all over since lol. We (O'B's) had a great practice. We've got some really well established forms and a few new heads. (melodies) As well as getting clarification on a few new heads. (players) Subtle differences aye? Then after practice, off to the DMV to get my cycle permit. Side note I think I may have found an affordable bike that will be good for me to start out on. After that it was off to Game Stop (yay!) having their buy two get one free on used dvd sales. I had a very interesting traveling companion, who had decided to eat some poisonous mushrooms before the journey. He had a great time as well.. LOL Watched a movie - repeated ad nauseam - sleep

SAT:
Again up early, but for no other reason than it seems like the right thing to do. Went to see my brother and his son working the flea market. I've been kind of blowing him off since he got out of jail. It's a really hard place to be in. To love someone who you don't always like. Sometimes I really see us as two sides of the same coin, the yin and yang of eachother. We do have alot in common, but the energy is always different he rides bikes to be cool tough and pick up chicks. I wan to ride just to cruise with that sense of freedom, to prove to myself that I can and to pickup chicks ;) Any way, after that another good practice with the band and back to the flea market to hang out and wheel and deal with the natives... Vacuumed a bit, cleaned my room a little and then lost all motivation. Ended up with grand central station again. George came by, then Tom. Then Chris, then Mike. Plus me and Jon and it was quite the extravaganza.
Watched a few terrible movies and went to bed...

Oh, I forgot all about the dream I had about driving over a million snakes and trying to ride a motorcycle (that kept turning into a vespa) in the snow, with my mom on the back.... eh can't remember everything.
Also I'm going to create a new blog for the humorous letters of Bob Davis senior this morning, and I'll try and upload some of his older posts too..
See you all soon
Brad

for kevin

don't want you to think i'm slippin.....
g'nite,
B

Bah... Nuts to the lot of em!

Interesting experience today, that I'd like to share. I am fortunate in that I have a friend who works in a very high end salon here in providence. So when I need a hair cut I can go to a place that otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford and get a really nice hair cut. The stylist gentleman who cuts my hair, stereotypically enough, prefers the company of man to that of ladies. As Seinfeld has said, not that there is anything wrong with that.... But it seems that after a few months of going to see him, he is starting to feel comfortable enough with me to share what in retrospect a little more than I wanted to know about his take on the fairer sex...
"It looks like an open wound" "and that smell! Like someone had crab for dinner on Monday and the shells have been in the garbage all week in the sun!" OK that's great... "I had a woman give me head once and I thought I'd return the favor, until I got close enough to smell it and then I said no way, I did put my penis in there though" Then he calls over another gay man.. "You've had sex with a woman before right?" "Yes" the man replies "In your experience is it common for a woman to cry to express her orgasm?" My stylist asks..
Now I'm in total shock, why now in the middle of my haircut is this conversation acceptable?
I think it's a shock factor thing, a grown man who is comfortable with his sexuality, who works in an industry that almost prides itself on not only accepting homosexuality but embraces it as a show of style. He has no one in his life that doesn't accept his lifestyle. So lets have some fun and "freak out the squares" yeah man that's cool...
That been said, my hair looks good hahahaha
jujitsu tonight, I'm hoping to use my friends CD burner to get some of the bands practice sessions onto a disc. I'll cut those to mp3 and try and find a host online to share it with you all...
suppose I should start getting ready.
Nothing but love for you all, but as Ice Cube says "bitches ain't shit but tricks and ho's"
Brad

Self Mutilation with a Rusty Butter Knife

Sounds better then being at work right now......
Passed my motorcycle course....
Later.
Brad

Almost done!

Howdy all,
Long time no see, things are pretty well here. I've been super busy (yeah ok not really thaaaaat busy) I'm almost finished with my motorcycle riders safety course to get my license. I've been doing pretty well in the MMA stuff, statring to feel like I could use what I've been learning in a real world scenario. What else is new? Nothing. I just won a few games of chess against Austin, 1 and 3 for our daily best out of three. He wasn't happy. :( Practices are going well. I think we really have a set of interesting material together now. We are starting to get to the point where even if we aren't sure where we are, in the form of the tune, we don't fall apart. I guess that's about all I can ask for considering the level of material we are trying to get together in such a short amount of time. I still don't know how the general public is going to receive it.... But we'll find out when the time comes...

Home Alone

Without the screaming mcauly culkin (however thats spelled) when was the last time you heard anything from that kid? Really what I was getting at was that my roomate is going away for the weekend, actually he's already left, and is somewhere near Lincoln New Hampshire as we speak... So I get to roam the home naked as a newborn for the next four days. Figures I have two rehearsals, a motorcycle class and work keeping me busy all weekend. So my ability to enjoy having the house to myself will be impaired.

As per usual, I'm struggling through tonight, trying to please the world with only a copying machine as my guide. Ho hum ho hum, hum ho. hahahaha

Yeah, sanity is over rated.

Played a few games of chess with Austin last night, a warm up game which I lost, then I crushed him in our second game in under ten moves. He must have been sleeping. Then after a grueling third game which took almost two hours, Austin finaly took the crown for our daily "Best Out of Three" championships. I should at least keep up with that for you, I think I only mention it when Austin wins, and not when I do. Which I do, on occasion ;)
talk atcha later,
B

The heat is . . . . On.

ba da buh daba ba da buh daadaa da da...
Yes it's almost that wonderful time of year again, when the gas company will do their best to hold us hostage.
Sending those outrageous ransom demands of three hundred dollars or more every month...
If you want to see your heat again you'll pay up. Or else!
I really wish I had a wood burning stove in here. Just one more thing to add to the list of reasons I want to own my own house. I don't want to put replacement windows in my apartment, and neither does my landlord apparently. And I'm certainly not going to pay for a wood stove and installation of it. Knowing that someday I'm going to move and what a pain it would be to try and then take it back with me... SO I'll pay them their money, begrudgingly of course, so we won't freeze to death.
More for the fishes sake than mine, the dog will keep me warm.
Fight the new world order.
Take care of yourselves, figure out how to exist on this earth without outside help, rather than just accepting how everyone else does it.
There must be a better way of living, other than accepting a prisoner like status to this system of ease and convenience. We'll deliver comfort to your door, in heat and electricity and groceries are a delivery service as well... You just have to accept whatever cost we decide to deem fair. And you will pay it, even if you think it's unfair. Why? Because what else are you goin to do? Freeze to death? The state will deem your home unfit for living if you can't heat it... So the man knows you'll pay, whatever ths cost, or kill yourself trying.
This is not real life, existing only to work too often and to hard, just to stay warm and fed...
Now consider this though, a few hundred years ago, we were in the same boat, working all day long to make sure we were warm and fed.
But do you think it might have been more fulfilling taking care of ourselves rather than having a price put on our needs by someone else?
I think I'm just ranting now, but I know there is a better way.
It may not be amish or mountain hermit.
I think like in all things there is a middle way....
If I figure it out, I'll let you know.
Brad

This is my United States of Whatever....

hahahaha,
ok so it was the noon session at the Lincoln campus, but I arrived on time, answered all my questions right and had a few good laughs with some other folks in the class. Got home had a excellent practice with Austin and Andy. (Reminder O'B's Experiment Living Room Thursday Nov 10th) We really have a pretty good set together now. We've been tightening and refining and in general having a really good time. Or at least I have, I don't really know about the other guys except that they smile the whole time we're playing... It's the first time I've played strictly my own original material. Aways there has been a song or two played by whatever band I was in at the time. But this is all me, so if the tunes suck, it's all my fault! Though we, the band, tend to hum them to ourselves all the time... hmmmm guess I'll just have to wait and see how the crowd reacts....
ok super busy here at work, I'm here till tomorow morning isn't that great!
Brad

Google this!

Hmmm, considering all the google buzz I tried googling myself this morning. I finally found something that was actually about me, versus all those lucky folks who share my name.
Yeah, 6th page down I found a link to a show from June 2004.

[Events] this week's events... Sleeper Cell (MA) and No Regard (RI) Thursday June 17 5-9pm Gallery Night 10pm There's No Party Like An Irish Wake: Jon Tierney, Brad O'Brien, http://www.as220.org/pipermail/events/2004-June/000126.html - 4k -

exciting huh? So, ok, here's another example of me being, well... Me..
Left bright and early for my motor cycle riders course this morning, only to get to the Lincoln campus of CCRI and realize I have no idea where the classroom is. I finally find a security officer who shows me to the room, 20 minutes late. A disgruntled teacher asks me how he can help me. After apologizing for my lateness I explain myself.
"Hmmm you're not on my list, do you have you letter?" He asks
"No sir I couldn't find it this morning..."
"lost your letter, show up late and your not even in this class, you really are a schmuck aren't you?" He replies...

Slowly my hand reached for the true and trusty blade always kept within reach for such an insult.....

Then I realized maybe he's right, and moreover the twenty students staring at me would give eyewitness statements.....

SO, I rushed off to the Warwick campus thinking I just had the wrong school. Hmm rushing, that's a dangerous thing to do when you have to be somewhere, and you are already late. Yeah so I accidentaly got on 146 NORTH!!! Doh! Ok I think, I'll just get off at the first exit and turn around. Who said anything about the luck of the Irish? The first exit took me into this little neighborhood that went on and on and on till finally I hit a main street. Found my way back to the highway, and realized I was not wearing a seat belt. Judging by my luck so far this morning I didn't want to risk getting pulled over so I try and put my belt on and it won't budge... GREAT!!! OK doing 65 in a 55 in traffic tugging at my belt strap, swerving this way and that I'm thinking, may this crazy bastard shouldn't be allowed to ride a motorcycle....

No I decided, I paid for this course and it's something I want to do. SO I slowed down and decided, ok even if I'm late I'll show up and make arrangements to attend another first lecture class. I slowed down, let some traffic pass, opened my door and freed the belt strap that was caught in it. Put on my seat belt and hit the gas again. Get to the Warwick campus and realize, I'm starting all over again, I have no idea where the class room is... yay, twenty minutes of walking around in this empty building till I finally found someone to ask... Found my way to the room now one and one half hour late. I step in quietly and take a seat near the door, waiting for the teacher to have a free moment to talk to me.
When he does come over, I give him the abridged version of my Greek tradgedy.
And he tell me "well you're not on my list either, maybe you're supposed to be in the 12 noon class?"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

So here I am killing time in the Warwick kinkos talking to you. Wondering if maybe I should be in the 12 noon class in Lincoln?? and if this adventure has really just begun?

Dam I hope I really enjoy riding that motorcycle...
B