Me and a gun.

It's been almost five years since I first got my firearm license.
Don't remember why I decided to do it. Haven't really thought much about it since.

You may or may not have noticed I use a lot of song names when I title my blog entries. Most times it's the song playing on the ol' mp3 jukebox, or just heard it on the radio etc etc. Just now I actually looked ahead into the future (of my playlist) and saw this gem.
Me and a gun.
Guns are portrayed too dramatically nowadays. It seems like "in theory" everyone in the "hood" is packing and yet most kids have never seen a real gun. Don't start freaking out on me about kids and guns now please. I still believe that education is safer than ignorance, and just because you may decide not to own a gun doesn't mean your children won't ever encounter one. Anyway, back to my point, too dramatic. People see a gun and think a select group of thoughts mostly revolving around suicide and or murder. Chances are your great great grandfather shot a meal at least once in his life. Home security is one of the main reasons anyone purchases a handgun today, and why not? Every other show on television is about a crime scene or a murder trial or some other "taken right from the headlines" dramatized true story about how rotten the world is today. When as Americans we are so much safer on a day to day basis than people in many many many other parts of the world... Then again I think it almost makes sense that things seem so cut and dry for frustrated individuals looking to express themselves in society that prides itself on the fact all of our cereal comes in the same size boxes. And only have of them contain any usefull nutrients what so ever. The world of secure commercialism we live in gives us no breathing room in our boundless freedom. The law is non negotiable. Prices are non negotiable. There's no room left to say well maybe "that" isn't so... "That" being the intagible arguable point in any pointless argument. Speaking of pointless, did you think I was going somewhere with any of this? Let's be honest, I was just killing time till my dinner was ready.
Brad

Cool

I like the little flickr thing on the lower right....
hmmmmmmm I'm a sucker for a fade out..
wish I could do that stuff with out the advertisements but it's ok, they were there for me when I needed them. Least I can do is show some love. ;)
B

Brothers and Sisters....

We are gathered here today to join these two people in holy shit.
Ahem......
Isn't it amazing how much one word can change a whole sentence?


Good morning,
I haven't written in the last few days due to my propensity for holiday gorging.
Why is it that the "everything in moderation" mentality doesn't apply around the holidays? Eating, drinking, carousing and a general sense of do whatever you can and lots of it, seems to take over the body like pod people from a very boring planet. Being honest* my two fisted face stuffing has nothing to do with me not having written anything.

Lets see, Friday I celebrated T-day with my mother brother and nephew (Nick) by going to the Chinese buffet for lunch. Then Nicky, Robert and myself watched a few zombie movies for the rest of the afternoon. They split and it was more couch time for me, less the psychiatrist of course.
Saturday, woke up got out of bed dragged a comb across my head... Oh wait no, well yeah, but no. Did some laundry and some light house cleaning, ju-jitsu in the afternoon right into another buffet lunch (Pete's idea, not mine). Late afternoon band practice. And some team zissou (or however that should be spelled) in "The Life Aquatic". And then despite my natural instincts, I went early to bed. Which has the unique side effect known throughout most of the world as "early to rise" here I am tossing and turning trying to convince myself that there is no natural reason for me to not be sleeping when the clock reads 6:30am. Yay yawn.... Took the boy out and made myself some breakfast and coffee. (or acquired them both to be more specific) And here I am. No really deep thoughts today, no rants... Just the same ol' same ol' day in the life (hehehe reference two) kind of morning. I am listing to a very cool rendition of Nirvana's "come as you are" by Charlie Hunter Trio... Just finished a really funny Terry Pratchet novel called "Equal Rites" about a female becoming a wizard despite the overwhelming cultural decision that women are witches and men are wizards.
Eh,
just killing time till work now.
1 <3
B

*Which is always my intention, but we know all about intentions don't we kids?

Being thankful

Hello all and happy holiday!
Well let us just talk about the morning yours truly has, very thankfully survived. I woke up this morning on a couch at Andy's house (thanks to my wonderful internal clock) at 7:15 am. Which I think will tell you about the quality of fun had by all at Mexicana '05 last night. Of course Kevin was supposed to wake me up at Six am which was the time he and Austin had to be up for... LOL Don't worry Kevin I didn't really expect you to wake me up, I just wanted to make a point of it.

So anyway, I go upstairs and there's my car, covered in the same snow that's covering everything!!! Anyone out there ever drive a Ford Thunderbird in the snow? It's a lot less fun than feety pajamas in the kitchen I'll tell you that much. A few slides here and there no big deal... Just getting onto rt. 295 and zzzzzip spun right around facing the on ramp.... Took me a few minutes to turn a round in the middle of the highway.. yay... Mack trucks... yay...Ahem...

Get home and take Professor out for a quick jaunt in the snow. That's when I notice Sierra, professors grandmother has hung herself up over on the other side of the fence.... So I try to pick her up and she starts biting the shit out of me!! Tore the cuff of my leather jacket to shreds!!! Didn't actually get to my flesh thankfully.. Went back inside had to help my stepfather with some computer shite and then SSS* and off to WORK!!!!!!!! Yes sir that's right I'm at work right now. Isn't that always the way with me? So anyway talk about being thankful, the dunkin donuts over here is open so I go in and get a coffee, only to realize that I left my wallet at home.... HAHAHAHa I had to go to the store and get $2 out of the register to pay for my coffee.


But after all that please don't think me ungrateful. I had a great time last night. I'm just happy to have, if not a great running, but decent running car. I'm glad I didn't sacrifice any flesh to the beast grand mother of my favorite son. (haha) That I still have my mother and father and stepfather around to be bothered by. That I have a decent job that is paying me more today than just about any other day of the year. That I have great friends and an extended family that I love, and that loves me in return. Mostly I'm grateful for this human experience. I had seen a bumper sticker once that read "we are not physical being having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience" and I really like that. Whether or not you believe in the spiritual nature of the universe I'm sure you'll agree that at the very least it's nice that you can be here to have your opinion on the matter.

Ok too many side tracks, back to work for me..

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Tell me what you are thankful for!
Brad

*Shit Shower and Shave

Mexicana 2005

Tomorrow night, oh yeah, gimme a burrito and a dos equis and lets celebrate.

BTW thanks for the concern for my well being, I appreciate it.
No, the crazy driver didn't' kill me I'm still here. Had to drop another few hundred into the auto for new tires... And I have a big nasty dent in the side of my car, but I guess I can't argue.

that's just how I roll...
B

LIfe in the fast lane........

I was in another car accident yesterday :(

Some guy was trying to pull a quick right on red, just as I was driving past...

BAM!

Right into my passenger side, smashed in the whole back fender... Spun me around, I popped my passenger side front tire on a curb..
whY AM i AT WORK TODAY?

Morning Has Broken

Sometimes I wonder what the "Korner Store" guy thinks about me...

There are days I walk in there wearing an ironed brooks bros. shirt and tommy hill tie, nice slacks and some Kenneth Cole kicks, movado watch and leather jacket (pimp-tastic) walking in saying hello to everyone and making conversation with my friend behind the counter.

And then there's mornings like this one where I walk in in my "Captain Trips" t-shirt and torn champion workout pants... slip on shoes that are only a bit more visibly falling apart than my unwashed bed head hairstyle... Communicating with little more than a thank you grunt, as I throw my dollar at my friend behind the counter for the coffee I think I may die without... LOL...

Or does he even pay me any mind at all. He probably knows you can't judge people at all, not by what they wear or how they present themselves. "I'm not a hairstyle or a textile, you can't measure my soul, like and inch or a mile.." Or maybe I just have more faith in the amount of acceptance I will receive from other people, and that's why I find that acceptance waiting for me there. I'll be the first to say that expectations will be the death of us all. They lead to nothing but disappointments.* But there is something to be said for, lacking a finer phrase, "the power of positive thinking".

There's a fine line when viewing the world and people around us that we shouldn't take for granted. Alright maybe take half of it for granted. For everyone who cares there is another who couldn't care less. About what concerns you I mean. Go to a flea market sometime, and you'll see a bit of what I mean. You'll see the people who care about what they look like, and those who don't. But everyone there knows you can't judge a book by it's cover. It's the guy in the ragged sweatshirt with the unkempt hair that has got all the money. And that well dressed woman over there in the corner, she's dead broke.

Now maybe we could analyze how we build these perspectives or how differing from them can still give us clues as to the nature and intent of the subject in question. But it's a freaking Sunday morning, I just woke up and crept like the walking dead to my Korner Store for a coffee that's just starting to take effect. and now as I read back over what I've written in my coma.. (ooh zuba just came on the "jukebox" yay) I'm reminded of the principle that those who know, don't speak and those who speak don't know.... So I'll be quiet and not concern myself with worries about how the clerk at the store perceives me, because it's really just my own concern of my own perception. I'm too focused on it, and that not being in my nature, I'm going to fail myself from time to time... If only I did have such high expectations of myself ;)

Brad


* "A wise man expects nothing, thus he is never disappointed, and never grows old." Tao Te Ching

Perspectives change...

Here's a little mental widget that I've been playing with all morning.
(this entry best with "simple kind of man" playing in the background..)

I think right up in to our twenties we live in this bubble of ignorant bliss, where we understand how the world works, and our place in it. We know what's right and wrong. We know how we are going fill a void in the world and where or how we will live our lives out. Of course we also have no problems sharing this, our life view, with the rest of the world either. We'll tell anyone who will listen all about how we've got it down. Our main fear is getting older and losing sight of our unique and perfect perspective.

Approaching and into our thirties, it seems to me people begin to understand that we really have no idea about how the world works. Nor do we have any clue as to what our place is in it. We don't want to talk about how we're getting along for fear of showing to the world the ignorance we hide inside. We begin to realize that maybe the void isn't out there in the world, but in ourselves. And our main fears revolve around survival basics, food, shelter and companionship and the means by which to get and keep them..

Then and this is a presumtion of course, or rather it would seem to me through an outside perspective, and not first hand, that in the forties and fifties we revert to an ignorant bliss. Been there done that, I know how the world really works, and my place in it! And these folks have no qualms what so ever about telling you how the world works. What skills are truly useful, what goals are worthwhile, what ends are truly worth achieving.

It's like the ancient sphinx parable about what crawls on four legs in the morning walks on two during the day and on three at night. Men. Who crawl on all fours as an infant until they gain the strength and knowledge to pick themselves up and walk throughout the midday of their life until as the midnight of their years approach they walk with the assitance of cane like a three legged animal... But still it's all about perspective. Think about it.
Brad

Who are all you people?

It's pretty funny, after a few weeks of writing in this Blog I didn't really think anyone was reading it except Jon and Mike. Now I come home from work and there is like 6 new comments posted... One even called me a "Hot piece of Brad-Ass" LOL. I'll try and write more often but my inspiration has been running at, not an all time, but running close low.

I don't know who you are, "playswellwithothers" or "Pilferingfool" but thanks for your comments, I don't care what everyone else says about you, I think your swell people.

So swell in fact, I'll bet your swollen.
And that's not just from touching yourselves either.

And lastly, to the one who may have drunkenly had sex with my dog.
Yes you probably did.
I might even have pictures to prove it ;)

Brad

Killing the Rumours

Despite any contrary notions, my dog will continue to remain my dog.
You can't have him.
nope.
nevah.
:P

The "Coolest Dog in the World" Award goes too...

And the Congregation said,

Hey men,
It's not what we do when we are being watched that makes us who we are.
It's what we do when we know we're not being watched, that's makes us who we are.
For too long I've cleaned up for company. Instead of doing it for myself.
If I have to clean up because company is coming over, that would make me a slob.

I'm a slob.

There I said it.

N-E-way. (not to be confused with, "The New England Way")
It's like my weight watching, I watch it go up, until someone else makes me realize that I'm getting.... hmmmm, too big for my britches? Then I'll cut back for a week until I see that I'm losing some weight and then I'll get paid and celebrate with Chinese buffet dinners for the next four days. Two steps forward three steps back anyone? If I were the kind of person that ate to forget his troubles and to relieve boredom I would be a?? Glutton?

I'm a glutton.

And that's not even mentioning the punishment ;)

Yesterday I went on a shopping spree. I spent what would amount to a little over two paychecks and bought not one thing that I needed. I spent because I was greedy, needy, and most importantly because I felt powerful knowing that I could. What nasty little adjective can I tag on to name that kind of evil? Wasteful at the very least.

I'm wasteful.

Maybe that's why I'm wanted not.

Another day in the life here at work. Completely dead, actually. FREAKING BORING. It took two days for the last four hours to pass.
And I still ended up here with nothing useful to add.


mwah.
B

I'm a mental midget.

Hey everybody, I'm doctor Nick.
Hey Doctor nick.
The show went well, I'm taking a lazy day now.
FYI my ship came in, I'm trying not to spend it too fast ;)
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I just fired up the boiler for the first time this year and the radiators are starting their percussion ensemble. Boom bang tick tick tick pop hisss bang....

Made the boy a nice new bed, he can sleep like a king now and not take up my whole bed. It's amazing how big he has grown. Looking at his puppy photos the other day it just blew my mind. Happy one year birthday buddy. I love you.

I love all of you as well, but in more of an, I just got out of prison lets get busy kind of way ;)

Speaking of which, Austin brought a friend over with him last night after the show, whew! Absolutely beautiful. I forget sometimes how much fun it is just flirting. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Sad how something so simple can feel so satisfying.

eh

Shrug

peace.

p.s. Day two through now hasn't gone so well. Guess I didn't really want to quit.

Everybody Hurts (day one/take three)

Sometimes,

It can seem like everyone around you is so blessed, that you might feel slighted or even cursed. But I warn you as a friend do not compare! This is a trap that is as dangerous as.... Well as a metaphor that only further clouds the truth rather than revealing it more clearly. As I was enticed to do, just a moment ago. (damm you Dennis Miller) I think I have, in the past, made it clear that I am of the belief that our understanding of life comes from the relative perspectives that we all drive around in day to day. And that the universe exists differently for each of us. Since without the observer there could be nothing observed and some observers wear yellow sunglasses, bingo bango two completely different views on the universe. lol. Now seriously back to blessings and curses. (oh did I not mention curses yet?) "One man's trash is another man's treasure" Perspective right? Exactly, one man yearns for great riches, and yet only the men with great riches know the curse of keeping it. The deceit, theivery and envy that goes along with great wealth. All to be feared and fought against, that it is a struggle to keep a great treasure safe is like a consuming fire until the joy of it is lost. Now of course I'm not speaking from experience here, I'd still like to struggle to keep my great wealth rather than be poor. Yep poor that's me. Poor me. Bullsh^t! I was driving my Jujitsu instructor home from training the other night, because he has been having car troubles. And I talked about how I too would really like to driver a newer and nicer automobile. And then in the silence that followed, as I realized that my car was running smoothly, cruising down the highway. And laughing at myself, I commented on how I seeing and hearing so many over cars on the road that are in worse shape than mine. Why do I feel like my car is so bad? And my friend put it very clearly, "hey the guy driving in the real shitbox wants to be where you are. And you want to be where the next guy is."

Brilliantly put. It's the progression of struggling through to achieve standards of living I guess. The lie that makes "cost of living increases" appear to make sense and makes our "minimum wage" a joke.
Anyway I just had a friend tell me she broke up with her boyfriend and it made me think that even when I feel that everyone else is blessed in my life except me, they are and they aren't. And I am blessed and I'm cutting this short now because My computer has crashed on me three times this morning and I can't take it any more!!!! (take three)

(Day one)=I don't want to smoke cigarettes anymore....
Lets see how we do.
Brad

The Long and Winding Road

Yee haw, Just another day in the life (th-e-life?). I stayed home sick from work. Son't really have much to say but I figure if anyone is listening I should at least say I'm still here. The band's first show is in a week, which just occurred to me, is Chelley's birthday (happy birthday kiddo, don't hurt yourself, mwah! ;)

Everything else is good. Sorry for the bitch and whine session the other morning. I just have to keep looking up (and to the sides when I get my bike) and keep moving forward.

I have to get back into my exercise routine. I've been wrestling with this 18 y/o non smoker in my jujitsu classes who just runs me right out of steam.... But it's still fun using what I'm learning and it's great muscle work. Just need more cardio excercise, maybe some sex would do the trick...

Besides I did, as per usual, let myself go a little in the last few months. No walking to work or pilates. And my two weekly training sessions are not enough to combat my love for the Asian cuisine. And I say as per usual yeah the whole woman no woman thing always makes me shift a little..

Hmmmmm need a new car, want a new bike... Too much stuff, but I guess I talked about that enough the other day.

Till next time, same bat time same bat channel. Different underwear.
Brad


(FYI "Son't" is my new abbreviation for "So I don't", see how much typing that would have saved me if I didn't have to explain my self ;) Or maybe I should just say I had a typing error and go back and fix it?)